Food blog!

I love cooking, always have. So I started a food blog. Here it is! It might include summaries of yummy meals, new ingredients I am cooking with that are exciting to me, even recipes (gasp!)


http://everydayfoodadventures.blogspot.com/

Conflicting Emotions

It's not logical.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
And really, ninety-nine percent of me is beyond ecstatic.

After so much prayer, and so much waiting, and so much hoping, David got a job.

I am going to miss him.
I am going to miss seeing the hours of time he has with Penelope. I am going to miss having him home when I come home from work. For a bit, it is going to be kinda tough to adjust in a lot of ways.

Grown up emotions are never simple or easy or straight forward.

Love

Love wraps around me when I walk through the door and see my daughter's eyes light up with happiness. Love is the way my husband gently speaks to me in the morning when the monster that is me needs to get out of bed. Love is an open mouth slobbery baby kiss. Love peeks out from the dishes and the laundry so willingly done. Love is in a caress. It is in a giggle. It is in laughter. Love grows stronger with each trial, more patient with each moment, more constant with each mistake. Love is the way I remember a smile of a loved one lost. Love plays with a tickle or a tease. Love is in a teardrop over something, anything mourned together. Love is in the trust of holding my daughter as she learns to walk. Love is in a dream held side by side. Love is in the good times and the bad times, and the times when we don't know which way is up and which is down. Love is the memory of a mistake forgiven. Love is in the way I listen when I want to be on my own way. Love speaks from every moment together, and every moment apart. Love is real. Love is here. Love is now.

walking

I know I should not be thrilled about this. I know that this starts a long period of chasing, that is frankly, going to take a lot of energy. But, anyway, I am a first time mom after all, so, drumroll please...

Penelope took her first step today!

giggles

Life was stressful when Penelope was born. There were people around who shouldn't have been, and although I hope I handled it well, I know that it did create more stress in me than I could see. She could see it though.

Penelope was a smiley newborn. She smiled early and she smiled often. But rarely did she giggle. As tension eased over the last few months though, she has started to giggle and laugh much more. I love watching her giggle. I love finding the humor in the little things with her. I love acting silly. I love echoing her giggles and laughs. This afternoon, while I sat on the front lawn with her, watching her play with dried leaves, watching her tear them into little bitty pieces with her "brute" strength, she leaned over, looked at a piece on the blanket, and giggled. Now I don't know what was funny, nor will I ever, but I sat there with her for the next minute or so giggling and laughing, laughing and giggling. Then she gave me a baby kiss.

I love her giggles. I am so glad that life for her has come to a place where she can be a baby, a carefree, unconcerned, light-hearted, clapping and giggling baby. And I am so glad that I can giggle with her.

Just some fun videos.

We have been going outside on the front lawn to enjoy the weather. This is a couple of videos from a few of those afternoons. They are mostly for Annie and Nathan up in Portland, but feel free to enjoy them too!





Hope you enjoy.

No regrets

I didn't set out on the homeowner's journey ever in my wild dreams thinking that it would turn out like this. I saw our purchase as one of risk-- buying a house always is. I knew we might lose value in the house. I knew that our budget would be stretched thin at times. I knew all of that. I didn't know that David would become unemployed for so long. I didn't know that my mom would die. I didn't know that my world would be turned upside down by emergency surgery and two miscarriages in less than a year. I didn't know that our whole country's home market would crash like it did. A dip... yeah, a big dip, maybe; one like this... who knew?

Through it all I have learned to have a lot of faith in God''s plan. I have learned... I have come to actually KNOW, that his timing is perfect. Sure, I "knew" it before, but I KNOW it now.We tried so hard to do the right thing. We tried so hard to pay the debt we had incurred. We tried so hard to make ends meet however we could. But it didn't work. Sometimes our best human efforts are just not enough.

And I am sorry to the people or the bank behind our mortgage. And I am sorry to my neighbors who invested in me. And I am sorry about the massive inconvenience to friends who this touches. I hope that our actions have eased the difficulty as much as possible. I just don't know what to say. Our frail human actions just often aren't enough.

So there it is. Today when I got the call that our short sale had been approved, I was elated-- and relieved-- and hopeful for the relief-- and sad that my current homeowner's dream was finally ending-- and nervous that it won't go through.

So many emotions. I had to write them down, get them out. Why is it there aren't simple emotions anymore? Why must they be a whirlwind?