David and I just had our first weekend away from Penelope. Okay, Weekend might be a bit of a stretch-- it was actually just under 24 hours. It was wonderful. We stayed in a hotel, went to Cheesecake factory, and went to Glen Ivy; oh how I love that place. Maybe I'll quit my job and just go there every day.
Yeah, go ahead, say it. YEAH RIGHT!
Anyway, it was a blast. We both could sleep with both ears closed instead of one listening for miss P. I truly enjoyed being wife for a day, and having my husband for a day.
Of course, I missed my daughter. Of course I missed seeing David taking care of her and playing with her, but I love my wonderful husband and cherish us, and am so grateful that there was someone (uncle Greg) willing to watch her overnight so we could just be two for a brief moment.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Looking Back
“Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds thy hands have made. I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder, thy power throughout the universe displayed. Then sings my soul, my savior God to thee, How great thou art. How great thou art.”
These are words from my favorite hymn. It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.
Three years ago, I almost died from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I had already been trying to have a baby for two years. I praised God that I still had my life. I worshipped him for his goodness. I mourned my loss. But God was good.
Two years and nine months ago, my uncle died tragically and unexpectedly. While swimming with his 15 year old daughter in lake Shasta in deep water, he had a heart attack and drowned. He was 49. I was shocked. I was saddened. I mourned with my family and I knew, God is good. God is great. Oh how great thou art.
Two and a half years ago, my husband, David, lost his job. I did not know then that he would still be looking for work today. I still do not know what the journey ahead is like. But I know that God is good. His timing is perfect. How great Thou art!
Two years and four months ago, exactly nine months after my ectopic pregnancy, I had another miscarriage. My heart was broken. I was broken. I sometimes felt without hope. But still I knew, God is good, and he is God. He loves me.
Two years and 3 months ago, my mother fell down the stairs at our house. A dresser landed on top of her.
She never got up, not really, again.
Two years and 2 months ago, my mom, at 48 years of age, passed away. I was sad. I was angry. I felt attacked. I felt empty. I felt a lot of things, but I knew that God is good.
“When sorrows like sea billows roll… it is well, it is well with my soul.”
“You give and take away. You give and take away. Still my heart will say, blessed be your name.”
One year and nine months ago, we decided to move in with my dad. Financially, we needed it. Emotionally, he needed it. Has it been perfect? No. But God is good.
One year ago, my daughter was born. My sweet sweet Penelope. With a fire in her belly, with a stubborn determination to do all, to conquer all, with a love for learning, with a pensive stare, she is my sweet sweet gift from God. He is so good.
My brother is in prison for drug use related crimes. It saddens me. But I pray that God will work through this. God is so good.
I do not know what the future holds. What hills? What valleys? What deserts? What oasis will there be? It does not matter because I know, so deeply, that God is good, that His timing is perfect, that because of His love, “it is well with my soul.”
These are words from my favorite hymn. It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.
Two years and nine months ago, my uncle died tragically and unexpectedly. While swimming with his 15 year old daughter in lake Shasta in deep water, he had a heart attack and drowned. He was 49. I was shocked. I was saddened. I mourned with my family and I knew, God is good. God is great. Oh how great thou art.
Two and a half years ago, my husband, David, lost his job. I did not know then that he would still be looking for work today. I still do not know what the journey ahead is like. But I know that God is good. His timing is perfect. How great Thou art!
Two years and four months ago, exactly nine months after my ectopic pregnancy, I had another miscarriage. My heart was broken. I was broken. I sometimes felt without hope. But still I knew, God is good, and he is God. He loves me.
Two years and 3 months ago, my mother fell down the stairs at our house. A dresser landed on top of her.
She never got up, not really, again.
Two years and 2 months ago, my mom, at 48 years of age, passed away. I was sad. I was angry. I felt attacked. I felt empty. I felt a lot of things, but I knew that God is good.
“When sorrows like sea billows roll… it is well, it is well with my soul.”
“You give and take away. You give and take away. Still my heart will say, blessed be your name.”
One year and nine months ago, we decided to move in with my dad. Financially, we needed it. Emotionally, he needed it. Has it been perfect? No. But God is good.
One year ago, my daughter was born. My sweet sweet Penelope. With a fire in her belly, with a stubborn determination to do all, to conquer all, with a love for learning, with a pensive stare, she is my sweet sweet gift from God. He is so good.
My brother is in prison for drug use related crimes. It saddens me. But I pray that God will work through this. God is so good.
I do not know what the future holds. What hills? What valleys? What deserts? What oasis will there be? It does not matter because I know, so deeply, that God is good, that His timing is perfect, that because of His love, “it is well with my soul.”
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Food blog!
I love cooking, always have. So I started a food blog. Here it is! It might include summaries of yummy meals, new ingredients I am cooking with that are exciting to me, even recipes (gasp!)
http://everydayfoodadventures.blogspot.com/
http://everydayfoodadventures.blogspot.com/
Friday, April 16, 2010
Conflicting Emotions
It's not logical.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
And really, ninety-nine percent of me is beyond ecstatic.
After so much prayer, and so much waiting, and so much hoping, David got a job.
I am going to miss him.
I am going to miss seeing the hours of time he has with Penelope. I am going to miss having him home when I come home from work. For a bit, it is going to be kinda tough to adjust in a lot of ways.
Grown up emotions are never simple or easy or straight forward.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
And really, ninety-nine percent of me is beyond ecstatic.
After so much prayer, and so much waiting, and so much hoping, David got a job.
I am going to miss him.
I am going to miss seeing the hours of time he has with Penelope. I am going to miss having him home when I come home from work. For a bit, it is going to be kinda tough to adjust in a lot of ways.
Grown up emotions are never simple or easy or straight forward.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Love
Love wraps around me when I walk through the door and see my daughter's eyes light up with happiness. Love is the way my husband gently speaks to me in the morning when the monster that is me needs to get out of bed. Love is an open mouth slobbery baby kiss. Love peeks out from the dishes and the laundry so willingly done. Love is in a caress. It is in a giggle. It is in laughter. Love grows stronger with each trial, more patient with each moment, more constant with each mistake. Love is the way I remember a smile of a loved one lost. Love plays with a tickle or a tease. Love is in a teardrop over something, anything mourned together. Love is in the trust of holding my daughter as she learns to walk. Love is in a dream held side by side. Love is in the good times and the bad times, and the times when we don't know which way is up and which is down. Love is the memory of a mistake forgiven. Love is in the way I listen when I want to be on my own way. Love speaks from every moment together, and every moment apart. Love is real. Love is here. Love is now.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
walking
I know I should not be thrilled about this. I know that this starts a long period of chasing, that is frankly, going to take a lot of energy. But, anyway, I am a first time mom after all, so, drumroll please...
Penelope took her first step today!
Penelope took her first step today!
giggles
Life was stressful when Penelope was born. There were people around who shouldn't have been, and although I hope I handled it well, I know that it did create more stress in me than I could see. She could see it though.
Penelope was a smiley newborn. She smiled early and she smiled often. But rarely did she giggle. As tension eased over the last few months though, she has started to giggle and laugh much more. I love watching her giggle. I love finding the humor in the little things with her. I love acting silly. I love echoing her giggles and laughs. This afternoon, while I sat on the front lawn with her, watching her play with dried leaves, watching her tear them into little bitty pieces with her "brute" strength, she leaned over, looked at a piece on the blanket, and giggled. Now I don't know what was funny, nor will I ever, but I sat there with her for the next minute or so giggling and laughing, laughing and giggling. Then she gave me a baby kiss.
I love her giggles. I am so glad that life for her has come to a place where she can be a baby, a carefree, unconcerned, light-hearted, clapping and giggling baby. And I am so glad that I can giggle with her.
Penelope was a smiley newborn. She smiled early and she smiled often. But rarely did she giggle. As tension eased over the last few months though, she has started to giggle and laugh much more. I love watching her giggle. I love finding the humor in the little things with her. I love acting silly. I love echoing her giggles and laughs. This afternoon, while I sat on the front lawn with her, watching her play with dried leaves, watching her tear them into little bitty pieces with her "brute" strength, she leaned over, looked at a piece on the blanket, and giggled. Now I don't know what was funny, nor will I ever, but I sat there with her for the next minute or so giggling and laughing, laughing and giggling. Then she gave me a baby kiss.
I love her giggles. I am so glad that life for her has come to a place where she can be a baby, a carefree, unconcerned, light-hearted, clapping and giggling baby. And I am so glad that I can giggle with her.
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