Changing Table Organization

Really?

Yes.

I am posting about my changing table and how I set it up for this time around because I think it is kind of cool.  We used our entertainment center for Penelope as a changing table, and it was great because it was hidden away in the common area... I mean, let's face it, a changing table isn't exactly the most aesthetically pleasing piece of furniture, now is it?  Anyway, this time I wanted it a bit better organized, so here it is, presenting, my diaper changing station!

Uncle Nathan mounting the baskets.

Stocked and filled with diapers, wipes, spit up rags, extras and lotions.

All closed up and hidden away

All the toys and books next to the changing station.

I like it!

I can't wait to share the nursery with you too.

All the little things

Life's little blessings.

We've all heard it, "focus on the positive."  But how many of us actually do?  I know some people who must, and I know some people who, well, I guess not so much.  It makes such a difference though!

Maybe I have a tendency to see the glass as half full, the silver lining, the little gifts along the way.  Maybe I have forced it upon myself.  But either way, I am sure glad God gave me the eyes to see the world in a positive light.  Without this gift, there are times that I honestly don't know if I would have made it.  Thanks God!

What little blessings have surrounded you lately?  What are your silver linings?  What are your half full glasses?  How can you be thankful today?

Here is a small list of mine:

An energetic sick girl who was able to smile and dance between feeling miserable,
A baby in my tummy that is now quickly approaching 35 weeks-- miracle number 2.
A husband I never could have dreamed of for myself.
Hiccups.
The laughter of friends.
My daughters imagination.
The ability to sleep fairly regularly and fairly well.
Living in a temperate place.
Passion.

Three Years Old and Loving It!

It's a Minnie Mouse and friends party!  Expecting my second baby, I wanted to keep the party somewhat simple, but it had to be fun and cute too!

Here were the invites:

I used a Minnie image from somewhere out on the internet and word clipart for the balloons.  I inserted the birthday girl's name with letter art and then voila... glue them to appropriately sized scrapbook paper and I had her invitation front.

The inside was fun too... I purchased circular mailing labels and printed the info on them, creating a polka dot effect with all the pertinent info on the inside of the invite.

The decorations were super easy too!  For table cloths I used stickers on plastic table covering.  I cut out mickey mouse shapes and bows from 12x12 paper in lots of colors, and put them up all over the place.  Lastly, I used images that I blew up, printed the different parts of the pictures, and then glued them together on varying colors of poster-board.

The Minnie mouse pinata was fun too, of course!

The cake was a take on the princess cake with the cake skirt and a doll inserted, only it was Minnie mouse! I used white chocolate polka dots and sprinkles, because at three, who doesn't love some good sprinkles?  I also made some extra cupcakes in bright colors for the boys who were attending.

Minnie Mouse cake

Activities included the pinata, my homemade ball pit with enclosure, and a coloring table.  The ball pit was a total success.  We used 750 balls from the toy store, a few extra larger balls for variety, and made a pvc pipe and fabric enclosure to help keep the balls contained.  The pit itself was just a blow up swimming pool.  Other than storage, this is going to make a great activity and quite a few birthdays from now on.  I pre-stuffed the goody/pinata bags with a few heavier items like play-dough and put each guest name on the mickey sticker on the front.

We had so much fun!  I can't believe my baby girl is three.

Baby shower fun!

This weekend, I had the honor of throwing one of my best friends a baby shower.  She loves the garden and she was not going all pink.  We had fun putting together her garden themed baby shower.

Her sister and mom made this adorable clothesline for a decoration:

I made this diaper cake with different colors of ribbon and flowers:

We had fun making this sign with a cricut, wooden stakes and black foam board to welcome the guests:

The food spread included all finger foods, some of the recipes for which I have posted at everydayfoodadventures.

The dessert table was to die for!  We used painted terra cotta pots to add height to the table.

This lemon berry marscapone cake was a hit, and it is so pretty too!

These sugar cookies were decorated with pastel chocolate.

And there was a huge variety of sparkly and sprinkle dipped pretzel sticks.

I can't wait to meet this little girl!

Movies and Books

For awhile now, I haven't had an overwhelming desire to read.  That was odd too, because I have been an avid reader since I was 7.  Recently though, I have picked up and started reading again and I think I know why.

Part of reading is about angst.  There has to be a tension, a conflict, a connection with the reader, and without that, a novel just isn't any good.  But that was the problem.  I didn't need any more conflict.  Or angst.  Or pull in any direction.  I was already being pulled in too many directions.  That is why I read the end of the final Harry Potter long before I was even half way into the book, why I couldn't deal with reading anything too deep, and why I couldn't bring myself to see any movie other than children's animated flicks or comedies... and even those might have been too serious.

And now, I am reading again.  In the last two weeks, I have read  Goodbye Mr Chips, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Awakening, Cane, Other People, and I am now working on We the Living.  I can handle a little bit of angst again, and that, beyond anything else, is a good sign.  Maybe I am coming back.

Trying Hard not to Complain.

Work starts tomorrow.

And I don't want to complain.  Good Grief.  I am a teacher.  I love what I do.  I work 186 days a year, and right now, 7 of those are furlough days.  It couldn't get much sweeter.  And I love my students.  And I love my job.

And I love to write fragments, I suppose.

But here is the thing:  more than anything else, I want to be a mom.  A full time, stay at home mom.  I love it.  I don't mind difficult days.  I enjoy finding things to do and ways to teach Penelope about the world.  I hate leaving her.

And tomorrow I have to.  And it sucks.  And I am really having a rough time with the thought of working full time again.

Thank you for reading my rant.

Cell Phone Use

We live in an age of convenience, and isn't it nice?  If we need directions, they are at our fingertips.  If we need to reach someone, we all walk around with a cell phone glued to us.  If we need a phone number the internet is a few clicks away.  And yet, that convenience has led to inconvenience and a feeling of being connected when real connections are ignored.

Once a month, I gather with some of my closest girl friends for a night of food and talking.  Not once has anyone had their phone on the dinner table, and only rarely does someone answer their phone.  On those rare occasions, it is a mom or someone who has already expressed that there is something urgent going on that might need to be tended to.  Shocking isn't it?

It is so sad that this mutual respect I speak of is rare in a young group of twenty somethings.  Would you like to know the most earth shattering part?  We have no cell phone rule.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  We just get it.  We all understand that if we are going to spend time with friends we value, that time is special.  Phone calls can wait.  Texts can wait.  Facebook comments can wait.

They

Can

All

Wait.

We need, desperately, as a society, as young people, as professionals, and as friends to start showing mutual respect to the person we are with at the moment.  It is only fair, and it will only lead to better, deeper, stronger and more lasting friendships that we can count on.  If we don't change our habits soon, our social media and text driven lives may soon destroy what real relationships we do have.  I don't know about you, but when I need to cry, I'd rather have a hug that a text: <3, and when I laugh at something funny with friends, a real laugh together is so much more valuable than a delayed "lol."

Little talking girl

I love watching Penelope grow up.

I love watching her talk more: "'mon mama, more run my momma!"

I love watching her develop humor: "Who is this?" (pointing to big bird)  "Abby, Elmo, Cookie (giggle)" You know who this is!  Who is it?"  "Big Birds-- Abby!"

I love watching her learn: "whas tha?" "Who's that?" "wha's this"

I love watching her personality flourish.

I love being a mommy, and I love my little girl.

"Terrible" Twos Here We Come!

This party was brought to you by the letter P and the number 2.

We had so much fun today and all of my hours of prep wok over the last 4-6 weeks came out just the way I wanted!  I had pictures of characters three feet high up all over the place, Sesame Street cake pop holders, and a few fun games to play.

And here is my army of cake pops inspired by Bakerella. They weren't quite as good as hers, but I was happy.  I filled them with different flavors... Elmo was funfetti, Big Bird was lemon cream cheese, Oscar was chocolate ganache, and Cookie was my creation of "chocolate chip cookie dough" cake.  I even had fun figuring out which filling was right for which character.

Here is the birthday girl wearing her Elmo overalls that I scored on sale from Sears:

...always so serious!  You should have seen her right before the party started, you might have thought she was at a funeral or something.

Fortunately, she finally lightened up.

We had Pizza, corn dogs, guacamole(13 avocados worth!) veggies, fruit, and drinks.  We had story time, threw Oscar's trash into his can, and found Ernie's rubber duckies (which he kindly let us take home).  Penelope's grandpa Steve even made balloon animals for all the kids, and a few of them even got Elmo!

What kid doesn't like opening presents?

Especially when she gets stuff like this homemade sesame street quilt from her Grandma Gerry?

Ahh, the Elmo laptop, definitely one of the hit gifts.

What a great party!

Bratz etc

Today, I heard a sound bite on the radio that interested me.  While I don't remember the exact quote, I do remember that the sometimes snarky host implied that the female host didn't dress up her barbies thinking that they would stay home.  So here is the context: they were discussing a news story about all the copy-cat bratz dolls and how the presence of the dolls promote inappropriate dress in young girls.  I couldn't agree more.  And here's the thing, when I did play with barbies, I did not actually have a "mature" imagination about what they would do that night.  They often were, in fact, all dressed up with nowhere to go.  Sure, my barbies "kissed" Ken as they got older, and those two did sleep in the same bed, but after all, so did my parents.

There was recently an article about how parents allow their little girls to dress, like miniature adults.  I wore make-up to a restaurant a couple of times before I was 13.  I was dressed up in some random wrinkly dress-up clothes, and probably looked like a clown.  What I looked like was a little girl.  But it's not all about me.  I have a two year old daughter, and I want her to grow up with the same innocence that I did.  I want her to learn about life as necessary, not prematurely.

But here is my big big problem.  While I don't want to shelter her from the world, I feel like there is some element of those her age that I will be forced to shelter her from.  Why?  Because their parents will allow them to watch rated R movies at 5, because they will be wearing make-up at 8, because they will not have a childhood.

A childhood is valuable, innocence is valuable, and youth is valuable.  I hope that my generation, that my daughter's peers parents can value that as much as I do.

Thank You

Penelope, come say "Thank You" to Grandpa.

Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter

Can you say "Thank you?"

NNNNoooo!

Say "Thank you."

Smile.  No!........... More!

If you say "Thank you."

No!

Thank you can be hard to say.

Invitations: Check

I couldn't help it.  Once they are in the mail, I won't see them again.  But I couldn't help it.

This party has been brought to you by the number 2 and the letter P.  So who gets air time?  Big Bird, Penelope's favorite?  Of course!  Bert and Ernie?  Duh!  Oscar, how can you not love the grouch?

And what about Cookie and Elmo?  Well, I love cookie monster, and the kiddies love Elmo, so, there it is.

So I cut out the card stock, got out the sharpie and the googlie eyes, did a little gluing and voila, invitations.

Smiles.

Success

I have very little to say on the matter right now but this:

Success is sweetest when the perceived outcome is doubted by the vocal, and when it involves achieving good for others.

Big Decisions

So, for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I have always valued the sacrifices that it takes to have a stay at home mom, and I believe that no one will care for your child the same way that you will.  I also know that it is not always possible for that to happen.

David and I have been really struggling for the last 3 years.  He has been struggling to find consistent work in his field, and I have been struggling with my desires to work part time or not at all and the conviction that I could be and should be doing more for my family financially.

Then it hit me.

Someone at church said that because of the nature of escrow, his mom had been in and out of work for the last 17 years.

A good friend made a fleeting mention of David being a stay at home dad.

And he would be a good one.  To be honest, he probably does better housework than I do.  He loves and plays with our daughter.  He is great with infants.  And he has never gone to school.

This could be our chance.

Sure, I don't want to give up my dreams of raising my children from birth, day in and day out.  Sure, he doesn't want to give up the idea of working full time.  But it seems so clear.  So. Very. Clear.  I can support our family.  He can get his bachelor's degree and special ed teaching credential (a job he would be a rock star at, a job that is stable, and a job that has summer off and a good retirement).  In the 8 year time period that that would take (part time student)  our children would have a stay at home parent.

Problem solved.

Except now I have to get my heart in the right place.  So does he.  But God is working.  God is faithful.  And this all just makes sense.

Tina

Family can be a blessing.  Family can be difficult.  Found family, however, is different because it has been chosen, and because it fits just right.

Tomorrow, we lose our Tina, our grandma Tina.  She goes back to Denmark.  She goes back to her family, her son, her mother, her brother and niece.

She is the grandma that my mom would have been.  And that warms my heart. 

I will miss her.

Penelope will miss her.

We won't see her for at least a couple of years.  But no matter.  We have had her here, and will always have her in our hearts.

giving thanks

This thanksgiving marks 7 years since David and I officially started dating, seven years since God brought a gift to me.  David is my balance, my support, my quiet in the storm.  In our struggles, while God taught us and molded us and shaped us, David stood by me, loved me, was strong for me.

I don't know if many would describe him as strong.  But he is so strong.  He is so patiently steadily strong.

This thanksgiving, I am thankful for him.

This thanksgiving is my second with my miracle Penelope.  With only one fallopian tube and two lost babies, God gave me my miracle.  She is funny.  She is beautiful with her big blue eyes and her expressive face.  She loves to read and observe the world around her.  She is a quiet and loving baby who blesses us with her life.

I don't know what my life would have been like with my two lost little ones, but I know that I love being a mommy for Penelope.

This thanksgiving I am thankful for her.

This thanksgiving marks my third without my mom.  I miss her.  I miss her vibrancy.  i miss her smile.  I miss her passion.  I miss seeing my dad's joy when they were together.  But I have my family here.  I have a peace that comes with working together, laughing together, cooking together.  I love my siblings, my dad, and my family.

I don't know how my mom would be doing had she survived, but I know that she has survived through her mark on each of us.

This thanksgiving, I am thankful for family and legacy.

This thanksgiving, I thank God for all of his blessings.  Those I see and those I do not.  I thank Him for the ways he works daily in my life, and I pray that he would open my eyes to His providence and love for me.

Stuff

A box of faded photographs, newspaper
Clippings of friends long lost,
Letters never sent, cards never received,
Letters never answered.
College notes from 1953 all scribbled
On paper-thin paper, brittle with age,
And a napkin.  A napkin about Columbus
And his fourth trip back and his poverty stricken death.
A summer college report card of C.

I feel her emotional poverty.
I feel her restraint, her fear, her hesitation
And I know I have never known the real her
And I wonder if anyone has.
And I wonder if she has.

This woman that life has beat up;
This woman that no one really sees;
This uprooted woman who has left behind
Herself in piles of paper and forgotten keepsakes;
This woman who raised my mother
But from an uncontrolled distance,
And was alive at her funeral and present, but so far away;
This woman who is not old, just ask her;
This woman who could not put her finger
On a positive memory;
This woman is my grandmother.

I do not throw her away when I throw away her things.
I throw away her shadow and her heartbreak.
I  hope that in her newfound garden
She will flourish.  I hope but do not expect,
Because I know that while she is a beautiful flower,
She is forever broken inside.

Summer

When I tell people I am a teacher, their usual first response is "wow!"  When I tell them I want to be a stay at home mom, their automatic response is, "well, at least you get the summers off."  While I couldn't agree more, it does bug me a bit.

I want to stay at home with my daughter.  I want to love her.  I want to raise her.  I want to be there when she needs discipline, when she doesn't feel good, when she is having a hard day.  I want to take care of cleaning the house, cooking dinner, managing our finances.  I want to "socialize" my daughter by setting up play dates with other children.  I want to explore everything she does and open the world to her so that she can learn.

I don't want her in daycare.  Or full time preschool.  Or in any kind of institution.  When the time comes for school, I am there, with her in tow.  At that time, I want to help the teacher... with parties, with prep, with field trips, with  (cough cough) grading.  I want my daughter, and any other children I have to know that they have back-up, that they can count on me.  I want to be able to consider fostering children, something I can't really do if I work outside the home.

I drives me crazy that there is such a fight against this.  It drives me crazy that women I know feel like it is somehow below them to care for their families.  It drives my crazy that moms out there are ashamed to say, "yes, I am a stay at home mom!"

I am blessed to be a teacher, to at least have periods of weeks with my daughter.  I am blessed to be able to go part time, for right now.  Although, that may end next year.  I am even blessed to have a group of family and friends who watch Penelope right now.  I just wish that our society would see the value of motherhood.  I wish they would stop trying to push mothers to leave their child in a daycare center, and I wish that there was some way, any way, that I could do this full time.

Generations

I have a picture of myself hanging on the wall.  Well, I guess there are quite a few of them.  But in the one I am thinking of in particular, I am about a year old, standing in front of my dad, my little hand stretched out in his big one, feeding a goat.

We went to the Orange County Fair today, and we took this picture.  Penny is about one, standing in front of her dad, her little hand stretched out in his big one, feeding a goat.

I love it.

Little Cute Moments

"Can I have a kiss?" and she leans in, mouth open, and kisses me on the lips.

I am in the swimming pool, and she is pouring little shovel fulls of water over my head from a bucket on the side, laughing hysterically at each one.

"A baby kangaroo is called a joey." Bounce bounce bounce goes my knee.  Flap flap flap go her arms.

"Say more.  What do you want?  Tell me what you want."  "moe!"  And she claps with pride as she realizes that she said it, not signed it.

I wonder where she is, and peek around the corner.  There she is, waiting, looking, hoping I will see her at the bottom of the stairs.  As soon as I do, she squeals and high-tails it up as fast as possible in a very precarious game of tag.  Good thing the gate isn't open often.

We eat blue cheese.  Or brie.  Or pepper jack.  Or goat on crackers before dinner, and she wants some, and asks for more, and does a little dance when she gets it.

"Mampa!" "Niy niy niy." "Moe!" "burrrrr" she speaks, and we listen.

My little Penelope.  I love that girl.